(Sweat)
(whew)
It is finally done.
What a post. That last one wrung me out. It took two months to write and two more weeks to recover from it. I'm still recovering from it.
But I swore I would leave everything out here. My feelings, my thoughts, my hopes, dreams, fears. It's the only way to write something meaningful - to leave nothing back, not to write for an audience or a superficial cause but for myself. It's the only way to burn the paper. And that entry has the burn marks.
Ironically enough, it's the first entry where I had actively forgotten to disable comments. Go figure. To those who snuck on and left them - well, I'm flattered. Honored, really. But they are not allowed here and I will continue to disable them...
So more posts are on the way. One minus of "the post" was the fact that other blog-worthy stories took a back seat. That includes some emotional ones. I have been working on them... but sometimes you just need a few simple writings in between. They are coming, though.
My new computer is non-functional. This is bad, but silver linings have been popping up left and right. For starters, I had to go to my old computer, which gave me the wonderful privilege of reading my cousin Claire's blog again, something I had lost the link to when I went to my new computer. People write blogs for different reasons, so the link is not here, but she wrote a beautiful post on secret faults that she was harboring, feeling that if she could manage to come out and write about them, the process would be cathartic. I applaud this wildly. Confession is so difficult - sometimes most of all to oneself - and there is a strange dichotomy in these words I type, that are simultaneously only to me and to the entire world. So I will try and fashion a post like hers - and hope I get some sense of the raw power that surges through her words at times.
Number of massive posts to write: 3.
As I sit here, Dave has a job, spring season of PSL is about to begin, Nate is happy with Bethany and watching Lost together and I type on the very keyboard that wrote so many words of fire about the Gate of Dragons and the Flames of Resistance. Even the keys feel strong, used, powerful. And yet my monitor is propped up on a chair and I type facing the monitor at a 90 degree angle with the keyboard on my lap. Odd.
But I'm back and writing.
(singing) Life is a beautiful thing, just live it - the way you want to...
It is finally done.
What a post. That last one wrung me out. It took two months to write and two more weeks to recover from it. I'm still recovering from it.
But I swore I would leave everything out here. My feelings, my thoughts, my hopes, dreams, fears. It's the only way to write something meaningful - to leave nothing back, not to write for an audience or a superficial cause but for myself. It's the only way to burn the paper. And that entry has the burn marks.
Ironically enough, it's the first entry where I had actively forgotten to disable comments. Go figure. To those who snuck on and left them - well, I'm flattered. Honored, really. But they are not allowed here and I will continue to disable them...
So more posts are on the way. One minus of "the post" was the fact that other blog-worthy stories took a back seat. That includes some emotional ones. I have been working on them... but sometimes you just need a few simple writings in between. They are coming, though.
My new computer is non-functional. This is bad, but silver linings have been popping up left and right. For starters, I had to go to my old computer, which gave me the wonderful privilege of reading my cousin Claire's blog again, something I had lost the link to when I went to my new computer. People write blogs for different reasons, so the link is not here, but she wrote a beautiful post on secret faults that she was harboring, feeling that if she could manage to come out and write about them, the process would be cathartic. I applaud this wildly. Confession is so difficult - sometimes most of all to oneself - and there is a strange dichotomy in these words I type, that are simultaneously only to me and to the entire world. So I will try and fashion a post like hers - and hope I get some sense of the raw power that surges through her words at times.
Number of massive posts to write: 3.
As I sit here, Dave has a job, spring season of PSL is about to begin, Nate is happy with Bethany and watching Lost together and I type on the very keyboard that wrote so many words of fire about the Gate of Dragons and the Flames of Resistance. Even the keys feel strong, used, powerful. And yet my monitor is propped up on a chair and I type facing the monitor at a 90 degree angle with the keyboard on my lap. Odd.
But I'm back and writing.
(singing) Life is a beautiful thing, just live it - the way you want to...
posted by Mat | 9:51 PM
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