A Step

(to eternal happiness)

Barbara is engaged.

It was only a matter of time. Of all the people I had ever met, I was most convinced that Barbara would be married some day. She was just too much to withstand: too kind, too sweet, too cute, and too loving not to have someone fulfill her dreams of love, family, and (maybe) children. I was supremely confident that God would bless Barbara with someone she could spend the rest of her life with... not that I am convinced, may I add, that she really needed the help.
She is marrying Ed, who (by all accounts) is a fantastic friend and person, and who has been faithful in his time and place. He has been there for rough times, and on the occasions I've talked to him he has been very kind. These are all good things.
I find myself so... happy, about this. If this was anyone else, almost any other girl I met, I'd be confused, or perhaps jealous, or (with the right people) really jealous... but this is Barb. It's downright impossible to be jealous when Barbara is concerned; this is doubly so when I am this happy for her. I've never been happier for another person's announcement of impending marriage, even if millions of guys (if they knew) would be cursing the heavens if they knew the type of person that was now off the market.

I won't always remember everything about Barbara. Alas, that ability was stripped of me long ago; I must make do with bits and pieces around gaping holes, a Cliff Notes version of what should be a timeless classic. And I know it was that good because what I do remember was so special. Discussions on the West Campus grass... her quiet but strong, dignified belief... her cute, almost quaint propriety and her total enjoyment of abandoning it.
I learned friendship from Margaret, duty from Nate, and love from Julie, but I learned more in less time from Barbara about life than almost anyone I can think of. She was one of a very select group of women that could make me feel woozy, my skin tingle, my mouth dry, my palms sweat. She made me feel alive. I'll always regret not spending more time with her when I had the chance... but our situations were so bizarre, so unique, that it's hard for me to feel bad. I'm glad our paths crossed. I'm glad I enjoyed it. And I'm glad I got to see her find her way.

So I say to her: Go! Enjoy!! I could not wish anything better for you than the life you are already living, and the future I fully believe you have in store, in this life and beyond. You will now have someone to walk through the rest of your life with, to love with, and to lay yourself to rest with.
And I am content knowing that.

Congratulations, Barbara. I am so proud of you. I wish you the best.

The Elements

(of power)

Wow. I totally didn't mean to type that for my (), but it just came out of my fingers. Hahahaha. Wow!
Just another example of how sometimes, when the muse speaks, you are merely the conduit of greatness.

I love the feel of wind in my hair. Love it. It is one of the times I feel connected to nature. It feels like I can feel the breath of Mother Nature upon me, and get a sense of whether she is content or annoyed or sad.
I love marveling at the strength of the wind, at its abrupt rise in power and changes in direction. I love watching people scurry in the street, trying to find cover, knocked out of their almost permanent sense that man has tamed nature and that weather is a mere annoyance as papers and debris are blown everywhere.
I love how I feel in it. It is one of the times that I feel the most alive.
This probably goes hand-in-hand with my love of thunderstorms. A few days ago I was home alone when a BOOM shook me out of watching TV. I went to the window in time to see the first sheet of rain in a torrential thunderstorm wash over the world. I grabbed my laptop and a chair, dragged both down the steps, and sat out on the front porch, the rain pelting my feet as I typed in the warm summer rain amidst a lightning storm that would put any human fireworks display to shame. Beautiful.

The power of current and movement in a river, so strong that it's all you can do to stand and not be swept downriver, same as any leaf or twig... the swaying of a world of trees out my window when I drive through the Blue Mountains on the turnpike... the beauty of a blanket of pristine snow, icicles dangling off tree limbs like cold wind chimes.

The Elements of power and beauty, indeed.